Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trusting Again Right Away
Introduction
Before we progress into today’s topic of “Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trusting Again Right Away”,we should first understand what “Forgiveness” truly means, what God says about Forgiveness, and why Forgiveness is a necessity in the life of a Christian.
What Does It Mean to Forgive
Forgiveness involves the willingness to put aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has wronged you, been unfair or hurtful, or has harmed you in some way.
What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness
The Scriptures below teach us what God says about forgiveness and letting go.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you – Ephesians 4:32
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6: 14-15
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. – Colossians 3:13
Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Trusting Again Right Away
Forgiveness Is a Command—Trust Is a Process
John 2:24 says – “But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, and needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.”
From the Scripture in John 2:24, we understand that Jesus never said, “Trust everyone.” It explains how Jesus, the Son of God, extended forgiveness even from the cross, but He still showed discernment in relationships.
Forgiveness is an act of obedience to God’s instruction. It’s not dependent on whether the other person deserves it; it’s about releasing bitterness and surrendering justice to God.
Trust, however, is a different entity. Trust must be earned through changed behavior, consistency, and accountability. Rebuilding trust often takes longer than anyone wants it to, but it’s essential for protecting your heart and honoring God with your relationships.
Forgiveness Doesn’t Minimize the Hurt
Most Christians struggle to forgive because we think it means pretending the pain or hurt never happened. But true forgiveness doesn’t mean denying the pain we feel from what happened, it’s a decision to stop carrying the offense while still acknowledging the wound. You can say, “I forgive you,” and still say, “I need space,” or “I’m not ready to trust you again.” That doesn’t make your forgiveness any less real, it makes it wise.
Prematurely restoring trust without genuine repentance can do more harm than good. It can allow harmful cycles to continue, and it can be misinterpreted that actions don’t have consequences. God is both forgiving and unbiased, so we, too, can forgive while allowing time for change and healing.
It Takes Grace to Rebuild What Was Broken
When trust is broken, healing is hard, but not impossible. In relationships where both people are willing to do the work, forgiveness can lead to deeper understanding, accountability, and even stronger trust than before. But that takes time to happen. It takes prayer and results – “Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God…” (Luke 3:8).
If you’re in the process of forgiving someone but still feel unsure about trusting them again, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it wisely. The Holy Spirit can help you discern when to rebuild, when to wait, and when to walk away.
Grace, Patience, and Wisdom
Rebuilding trust after forgiveness requires three key ingredients: grace, patience, and wisdom.
Grace gives the chance to change. Patience allows time for the result of that change to show. Wisdom protects your heart while waiting.
God never rushes restoration, He walks with us through it. Whether the person you forgave is a friend, spouse, leader, or family member, take the time you need to heal. You are not being bitter by setting boundaries. You are being obedient by walking in truth and love.
Remember – “You’re Not a Bad Christian If You Need Time”.
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